A right royal buffet

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We were at the Mirch Masala restaurant Sunday buffet. Two blonde, bearded uncles. Aunt Madge, fresh off a congested motorway. And me with my quasi Urdu and gora husband.

As we settled into our crisp onion bhajis, I let out a gasp. I had suddenly remembered my recent brush with international foodie fame and fortune.

I’m in Olive, I declared with a flourish.

Uncle one raised an eyebrow. Uncle two gave me a grunt. Aunt Madge just said: “Who’s Olive?”

Great. Only, like, the best food magazine published by the BBC. Read by a gazillion people, none of whom I actually know.

They asked me about my favourite cheap eat in London - the £6.95 eat as much as you want lunch buffet at Diwana Bhelpuri House in Euston. But if you’re not in London, this information is about as useful to you as your local weather to me.

So here are my top tips for spotting a really good Indian buffet instead:

  1. Elderly Indians: No self respecting elderly Indian will pay money to eat poorly cooked version of the food they eat at home
  2. Hot chapattis/rotis: There is little point in rotis that have languished on the buffet table, turning rock hard and stone cold
  3. Wide selection: Surely, the whole point of the whole exercise is to eat until you can barely move, a huge meal that you would be nuts to cook at home?

16 Comments

  1. Posted May 6, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    Congrats on your Olive appearance, Mallika!

    And thanks for the buffet tips, I think we’ll be able to apply them all the way over here in Oz. :-)

  2. Posted May 6, 2008 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    While it’s not very common, I’d say if a buffet has Indian Chinese food, such as chilli chicken, it’s almost certainly as authentic as you can get. Few Westerners know about the existence of these fusion dishes, so if they’re serving it means lots of Indians come there.

    An Indian friend of mine says that he can always tell a good buffet (or restaurant) by the sambhar they serve.

  3. Posted May 6, 2008 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    Oooooooooh congrats

  4. Posted May 6, 2008 at 7:30 pm | Permalink

    Ooh!! You’ve arrived! :)

  5. Posted May 7, 2008 at 1:20 am | Permalink

    wow! CONGRATULATIONS! :D

  6. Nandita
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 3:24 am | Permalink

    Congrats to you my celeb friend :)

  7. Posted May 7, 2008 at 3:52 am | Permalink

    Great pointers about Buffet. We are getting tired of these bland buffets, same old food!:)

  8. Posted May 7, 2008 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    Congrats! What a well deserved honor, Mallika!

    Great pointers on the buffet - I will look for the old folks next time.

  9. Posted May 7, 2008 at 8:49 am | Permalink

    Congrats, Mallika..I will peek into the restaurant for the elderly people the next time I need to decide whether to eat there :-)

  10. Posted May 7, 2008 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    Congrats my friend. Glad that you’re slowly but surely making your way to the top of the food fame world.

    thanks for your tips! Another tip I have is the crowd. If it’s mostly goras or non indians (or for that matter non natives at any ethnic restaurant) then it should be avoided. These days here in the states, a lot of Indian buffets are geared towards the Western palate which makes it hard to enjoy the authentic foods of a region.

  11. rubina
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 10:52 am | Permalink

    I must be in the elderly group (thanks). Ididn’t know who Olive was. But then I lives in the States. LOL. Conrgats M.

  12. mrinalini
    Posted May 8, 2008 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    Hi there,

    I enjoy reading your blog, i dont remember how I stumbled across it but its a daily fixture for me now.Read about your buffet suggestions, may i suggest an even cheaper option- Chennai Dosa house- does a breakfast buffet for about 4 odd pounds-. They are not located in the hippest areas of London but the food more than makes up for the lack lustre locations. They are by far the cheapest and the best authentic south Indian joints in London ( google them for locations). We go to the croydon joint. Another interesting fusion buffet option in Chutney Mary’s Sunday brunch which is priced at 20 odd pounds without alcohol etc.
    Congratulations on being profiled in Olive
    cheers
    mrinalini

  13. Posted May 8, 2008 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    can i say “I knew her back in the day when she was…” congrats M!! :D

  14. Posted May 8, 2008 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

    congrats Mallika on your Oliver appearance :)great news.

  15. Posted May 11, 2008 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations, Mallika! :-)

  16. Posted May 14, 2008 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

    Good for you Mallika…CONGRATS!! I love your banter & am thinking of having a go at the dal soon! It’s mango season here all the way.YUM!

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