In my experience, Indians don’t talk about death much. I’m quite happy to follow this fine example.

But now, I was sitting across a rather morbid will-writing consultant (or something). In between bites of my stone-baked, Capricciosa pizza I was being force fed likely future events.

“Do you have any possessions of real value you want to present to anyone?”

Gulp. My pots and pans?

“Real value.”

My shoes?

We finally settled on the only piece of pricey jewellery I possess. With that, I ran off to work leaving the husband to answer the last call.

To think I’d even momentarily considered parting with my pots and pans! I put them to use straightaway with Bhuna Gosht, and served it with my new found recipe for perfect naan - an Earthly reminder why life is worth living.

Feeds 4:

• 750 gm lamb shoulder, diced and bones included
• 2 medium onions, sliced fine
• 2 tsp coriander powder
• 1 tsp chilli powder
• Half tsp turmeric powder
• 1 tsp garam masala
• 4 fat cloves garlic, minced or pureed
• 1 inch ginger, minced or pureed
• 4 tbsp vegetable oil
• Salt to taste

In a large pot, heat the oil over a high flame. When it starts sizzling, throw in the onions and fry for five minutes until they turn soft and pale golden in colour.

Now add in the ginger and garlic and fry for about two minutes until they turn a golden colour too.

Then mix in the lamb and all the spices, apart from the garam masala. Mix the ingredients well together until the meat is sealed and brown all over.

Now add in just enough water to come half way up the sides of the meat, cover and cook on a medium flame. You need to keep stirring from time to time and add hot water only when the curry in the pot dries up.

This is what bhuna means - to stir until the masalas caramelise and the meat cooks. This whole process will take 45 minutes to an hour depending on the quality of the lamb.

When the curry is thick and dry, and the lambs falls apart easily when cut with a fork, mix in the coriander, salt and serve.

• 3 garlic cloves
• 1 tsp cumin
• 2 tsp coarsely ground black pepper
• 4 cups of water
• Juice extracted from 1 inch diameter of fresh tamarind or Half a tbsp of the ready tamarind paste

Tadka:

• Half tsp mustard seeds
• Half tsp cumin seeds
• 1 whole dry red chilli
• 1 sprig curry leaves
• 1 tsp sunflower oil

Bring the water to boil in a large pot. Smash the garlic, whole cumin and ground pepper up in a pestle and mortar. When the water starts boiling, mix in this paste and the tamarind extract. Lower the flame and simmer for 10 minutes. When the time is almost up, heat the oil in a small pot and sizzle the tadka ingredients for a few seconds until they turn a darker shade. Finally mix the tadka into the soup and add salt to taste. Drink this piping hot in a large mug and let it work it magic.

Now, this is a tragedy of epic proportions. There is only one thing I do better than Indian cooking.

Talking.

I sat at my desk, in silence. Simmering gently. With only grunts and sign language to communicate. One grunt, yes. Two grunts, no. Two fingers, leave me in peace.

Clients and colleagues heaped sympathy on me. The husband rushed to the pub to celebrate. I stared at 12 bullet points in despair. Only a simple Indian meal would now lift my spirits off the ditch outside the office.

It had to be chicken curry and rice. Even on a vocally agreeable day, chicken curry is pure genius in a large pot. It takes about 45 minutes to make, even quicker in my pressure cooker. I can make a massive amount of it with little extra effort. And any extras can be frozen for use during a later meal.

Ticks all my boxes for busy bee Indian cooking.

This wonderful, basic chicken curry recipe is from the Basu Kolkata kitchen and can be tweaked for variety with the addition of whole garam masala in the hot oil or some plain yogurt with the tomatoes.

There’s only one way to voice my satisfaction at the end of this meal. Grunt.

Feeds 2 (two times):

• 8 chicken thighs and drumsticks (about 750 gms)
• 3 medium tomatoes
• 2 large onions
• 4 fat cloves garlic
• 1 inch ginger
• 1 tsp chilli powder
• Half tsp turmeric powder
• 1.5 tsp cumin powder
• 1.5 tsp coriander powder
• 1 tsp garam masala
• Handful of fresh coriander
• 2 tbsp sunflower oil
• Salt to taste

Skin the chicken, roughly chop the onions and tomatoes, and finely dice the ginger and garlic. Heat a large, non-stick pan with the oil over a high flame. You could also use a pressure cooker.

When the oil is sizzling hot, add in the onions and fry for five minutes until pale gold and soft. Then throw in your ginger and garlic and keep frying for another five minutes until the whole lot is a darker shade of gold. If at any point the masalas start sticking to the bottom of the pan, just add a little water and scrape off.

Now mix in all the powders except garam masala, and the tomatoes. Keep frying this on a high heat for another five minutes until the tomatoes disintegrate and the pungent smell of the spices calms down to a softer fragrance.

Then, throw in your chicken, and stir like a maniac until it is white and coated with the masalas all over. Next, add just about enough hot water to submerge the chicken pieces, cover and cook on a high flame for 20 minutes until the chicken is cooked through. Just make sure you stir the chicken every five minutes or so.

If you use a pressure cooker, as I did, this takes about 6-7 minutes after the first whistle. But you won’t get a deep, red colour like the chicken curry in my new video.

Finally, stir in the garam masala, salt and a handful of fresh coriander. Serve with plain, steamed Basmati and a spicy pickle of your choice.

It takes no less that the first half hour to fire up the computer. Which then promptly crashes leaving me helpless and hormonal. I proceed to get barked at by colleague/ supplier/ journalist. And finally face an impossible client deadline that likens the plot of Mission Impossible to an urgent trip to the cornershop.

The 5-10 ingredients that add up to an Indian recipe are a far cry from all this. So they smell. Are well fiddly. And require some planning. But boy do they make up for working day misery as well as a stiff drink and trash TV.

(To think ready-mixed curry powder was once my holy grail of quick Indian cooking.)

My favourite ingredient for Indian cooking has to be yogurt. I know this sounds ridiculous, when there are a million wonderful and exotic spices we use. Hear me out. Yogurt:

1. Is a low-fat substitute for cream
2. Thickens curries without the need for dubious additions
3. Softens and tenderises meats
4. Has heaps of health benefits

Not so idiotic now, is it?

When cooking yogurt, I strongly advocate using the thick, full fat variety. We call it Greek Yogurt here, but it’s made from cow’s milk. Even on a high flame, this stuff does not split and gives a delicious richness to dishes. Any oil that escapes it, you can simply leave behind in the pan when you eat.

The low fat, natural variety works best for things like Raita or Lassi. I’ve tried mixing flour/cornflour into it and straining to thicken further - but it still curdles the minute it touches the high heat that’s a must for quick cooking.

Here is Zafrani gosht, a simple, tender saffron goat meat curry to get you thinking differently about this wonderful ingredient. You could also substitute the goat meat with chunks of lamb, bones included.

Feeds 4:

• 800 gm diced goat leg, bones included
• 200 gm Greek yogurt
• 2 tsp coriander powder
• 2 whole red chillies
• 1 whole brown cardamom
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 large onions
• 4 fat cloves garlic
• 2 inches ginger
• 10 strands saffron
• 2 tbsp sunflower oil
• Salt to taste

Finely chop or puree the ginger and garlic. Slice the onions.

In a large pan, heat the oil until very hot. Add the whole spices and as they sizzle, mix in the sliced onions.

Fry the onions over the high flame for five minutes until they turn a pale golden brown. Then stir in the ginger and garlic and fry for another five minutes until the masala transforms to a darker shade of gold.

Now add the coriander powder, yogurt and meat and stir like a maniac, until it is well sealed all over. Add a cup of hot water - enough to submerge the meat - and cook covered on a high flame for about 45 minutes.

You will need to keep stirring to prevent the meat from burning or sticking to the bottom of the pan. If this happens, you just need to add more hot water.

If you’re the proud owner of a pressure cooker, by all means use it. But the taste of this delicate curry, comes from the cooking time.

When the goat meat is tender and starts falling away from the bone, mix in the saffron strands and salt, simmer for a minute and serve piping hot with some Naan, and as in my case, premium beer.

Ps = This is my entry to the fantastic competition being organised by Maninas. I have my toes and fingers crossed.

It was time for QIC to have a little makeover. We have a more slick look. Videos with cooking basics. And photos of me looking like my younger, more glamorous sister.

On the downside, my blog consultant and dear friend Hugh may never speak to me again.

Fresh from the glow of a new beginning, I decided to try something different. I took to the streets of South London, to trial a new neighborhood for supplies.

First stop. Mrs Naila Salim. Owner of Pooja Sweets and Savouries on the bustling Upper Tooting Road. She had not just one but THREE types of samosas. (Thank you, God)

Next, I bought freshly-diced lamb shoulder from a Halal Butcher on Balham Road. He had goat meat too. The stuff we mainly eat in meat curries at home.

This is the cooking Indian equivalent of hitting the jackpot!

Things are hotting up on all fronts. What better than this Achari Gosht, fiery sour lamb curry cooked with pickle masalas, to send a sizzle through my kitchen too?

Feeds 4:

• 500 gm diced lamb shoulder, bones included
• 2 onions, chopped
• 2 large tomatoes, chopped
• 3 tbsp plain Greek yoghurt
• 4 fat garlic cloves and 1 inch ginger, minced
• 2 tbsp panch phoron
• 4 whole red chillies
• Half tsp red chilli powder
• Half tsp turmeric powder
• 1 tsp garam masala
• 2 tbsp fresh lime juice
• 3 tbsp mustard oil
• 1 tbsp sunflower oil
• Half tsp white sugar
• Salt to taste

In a medium-sized saucepan, bring the mustard oil to heat over a high flame.

When it is hot throw in the panch phoron, sugar and whole red chillies and, as they splutter, stir in the chopped onions. Fry for five minutes until the onions are soft and translucent.

Then mix in the garlic/ginger and stir the whole lot until it starts turning golden caramel in colour. Now add the turmeric and chilli powders and tomatoes. Stir like a maniac until the tomatoes disintegrate.

You may find that the mixture starts sticking to the bottom of the pan. If this happens, just add two tablespoons of water and scrape the masalas off the bottom of the pan.

At this stage, mix in the yoghurt, the lamb chunks and the sunflower oil. Seal the lamb all over, mixing well to coat evenly with the masalas.

Add enough hot water to submerge the lamb, lower the flame to medium high, cover and cook until the lamb literally melts in your mouth. You will need to watch this like a hawk or the dish will simply burn at the bottom.

As the dish cooks, its curry will be reduced to a thick, jelly-like consistency. When the lamb is cooked, mix in the garam masala, the lime juice and salt.

Served with hot, buttered Naans and creamy, plain yoghurt for a spicy treat.

This is where I start ranting about the injustice of the London Underground. Or - God forbid - start sharing my 4000 holiday photos.I’ll just stick to sharing a recipe from my travels with you instead. The dish is Khao Sawy (pronounced Sway) - a Burmese soup noodle dish.I grew up on this in Kolkata, where owing to trade links to Burma, every family had its own recipe that was the subject of much competition and pride among the aunties.

Up in Chiang Mai, I tried the Thai version. Traditionally cooked with chicken, this is a coconut curry topped with a selection of fresh herbs and spices. All added in the quantities you want from little bowls on the table.This dish makes great party food. Mainly, because you would have to be nuts to chop all the garnish ingredients for the two of you.I cooked it for Aunt Madge and her boyfriend. They ate loads. Spilt it down their sweaters. And looked deliriously, inexplicably happy.Something to beat the holiday blues too perhaps?

Feeds 6:

6 large chicken thighs, skinned

3 large garlic cloves

Half inch ginger

Half tsp turmeric powder

Half tsp chilli powder

Half tsp cumin powder

3 green finger chillies,

4 sprigs of curry leaves (optional)

1 x 400ml tin of thick coconut milk

2 large onions, finely sliced

6 rounds of medium egg noodles

1 tbsp sunflower oil

To garnish:

6 eggs

125 fresh coriander leaves

4 garlic cloves

3 spring onions, green and white bits

1 large onion

2 key limes

2 green chillies

2 tbsp sunflower oil

First make the soup. Chop the ginger and garlic and bring the oil to heat in a large pan over a high flame.

When the oil is hot, fry the onions and the curry leaves until they soften and turn translucent. Then add the garlic, ginger and green chillies and fry for another five minutes.

Now add the powders and the chicken. Seal the chicken on each side, stirring like a maniac to mix them up well with the masalas.

Submerge the chicken pieces in hot water and leave to boil away on a medium flame. While the chicken is cooking, prepare all the garnish ingredients in the following order:

• Hard boil the eggs
• Chop the garlic and fry until crisp and golden
• Slice the onion finely and fry in the leftover garlic oil
• Chop up the coriander, green chillies and spring onions
• Peel and mash the eggs roughly with a fork
• Quarter the limes

Kit little bowls with the garnish and place in the centre of the table. Now take each piece of chicken out of the pan and, using two forks, shred it quickly. If the chicken is cooked, the chicken will simply fall off the bone. Get rid of the bone and return the chicken into the soup. Don’t substitute the thighs with boring chicken breasts, for full stock impact!Then pour in the coconut milk and leave to simmer, while you cook the noodles according to pack instructions.When the noodles are done, put the soup pan and the noodles on the table so guests can help themselves. Sprinkle liberally with the garnish ingredients. Serve with plenty of napkins, coz it will get messy.

I was lost. In a beige linen “frock”. With sales staff yelling “shishter, shishter!!” after me.

Normally I would declare: “I am not your sister.”

Post seven weeks of non-stop quality food? I am in Zen Zone.

“No, I don’t need an embellished, polyester loin cloth” I manage. With a smile. In Bengali.

At which point they realise I am Indian, grunt with disgust at my wannabee look and find some real gora to heckle.

So I am back from the land of Avian Influenza. Chicken is strictly off the menu there. And so are eggs, obviously. Which has left all Bengalis (mother included), baffled about how to bind their beloved chops.

Word Health crisis aside, It has been a fantastic break. Most notable in my protruding one-pack and 4000 photographs. But also in a whole new collection of recipes.

So here’s the first. My ode to the humble bird: chicken bharta. This dish is a staple at lazy Kolkata lunches under whirring fans at part sports complex, part social hub and complete remnant of the Raj - The Saturday Club.

Cook this. Eat it. Dream of your next extended break.

Just like I will.

This recipe feeds 2:

4 chicken thighs, skinned

1 medium onion, sliced

1 inch ginger, chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

1 small tomato, roughly chopped

Half tsp chilli powder

1 tsp turmeric powder

Half tsp coriander powder

Quarter tsp cumin powder

Half tsp garam masala

1 bay leaf

Two sprigs of fresh coriander

1 hard boiled egg

1 tbsp flavourless oil

Salt to taste

In a shallow frying pan, bring the oil to heat over a high flame.

When hot add the bay leaf and, as it sizzle up, the onion, ginger and garlic. Fry them for about five minutes until they turn a light golden brown in colour.

Next add all the powders, apart from the garam masala. If you add the garam masala now, your dish will turn bitter. Fry the whole lot for about two minutes and then add in the chicken.

Mix the masalas with the chicken well. Lower the flame to a medium heat, add enough water to submerge the onion mixture and cover the pan. Stir the chicken from time to time for about 20 minutes. At the end of time, stir in the tomato pieces.

Now you need to turn the chicken pieces into bharta or mash. Just take each piece onto a plate and with two forks shred it, discarding the bone.

If the chicken is cooked well, the meat should just fall off. If it doesn’t, just stick it back in the pan and cook for longer.

To finish, stir the shredded chicken back into the frying pan along with the garam masala and some salt. The dish should be moist but without a curry. Garnish with a quartered boiled egg and the fresh coriander.

This is superb with just about anything. But my special recommendation would be team this with pitta bread or some readymade naan for a super simple and satisfying supper.

I’m talking about those little bags of whole and powdered masalas that add up to the wonder that is Indian cuisine.

Just when I think I couldn’t possibly buy another new spice, a recipe stumps me with the need for yet another obscure one. Like methi (fenugreek) seeds. Or anardana (pomegranate) seeds.

I proceed to dry roast and grind half a teaspoon. Knowing full well that the remaining 225 gm will languish in the kitchen cupboard.

The only moment I spare it a thought, or a curse, is when I swing open the cupboard door in a rush and the darned bag loses its balance and its contents spill all over me and the kitchen floor.

By the time I find another recipe that needs the wretched spice, it is so anemic that I might as well not bother.

Of course, this can only be worse if you live in a place where Indian spices are hard to come by and fairly anemic to begin with!

All hail the minimalist recipes. The ones that require no fancy ingredients and can be cooked when over-sized bags of fancy Indian spices are running in short supply.

This one is a real trooper - gosht aur palak, or pork with spinach.

A hearty, winter warmer, it is a one pot stew using a few staple masalas only. Give everything a good stir and pressure cook if you can for added speed.

A spicy treat that gaurantees a chilled out evening.

This recipe feeds 2:

400 gm pork fillet, cubed

200 gm spinach (I used defrosted frozen sort)

1 medium tomato, chopped fine

2 bay leaves

4 fat cloves garlic, peeled and crushed

2 tbsp chopped ginger

1 medium onion, chopped

1 tsp whole cumin

1 tsp chilli powder

1 tsp turmeric powder

1 tbsp garam masala

2 tbsp sunflower oil

1 tbsp butter

In a pressure cooker bas, bring the oil to heat over a high flame. When it is hot add, in order, the bay leaves, cumin, onion and garlic.

Fry for five minutes until the whole lot starts going caramel brown. Then add the tomato, chilli and turmeric powders and fry for two minutes until the tomato disintegrates.

Stir in the pork pieces and brown for a few minutes until it is white and sealed on all sides. Then add the spinach, the ginger, garam masala, half a pint of hot water and pressure cook for 20 minutes after the first whistle.

To finish, stir in salt and the butter. Sprinkle with fresh coriander and serve with a fancy pulao. I made Asha’s coconut rice. Recipe to follow.

If you don’t want to use a pressure cooker, use a large pan, lower the heat when the spinach has gone in and cook on a medium heat for at least an hour until the pork is super tender.

PS = As this is a totally non-fuss, grinder -free way to get thick gravy I am sending it to Sra’s Grindless Gravies event.

Divine retribution. Poetic justice. Having made fun of my man I was now at the mercy of his creative cooking, i.e. pesto pasta and spaghetti bolognese.

By last night, I was feeling better. And a little desperate. My throat was dry, my eyes like slits and my hands quivering. I… needed… a… masala… fix… BADLY.

I settled on a pressure cooked Parsi lamb curry with apricots. Jordaloo Boti. Mother left me the recipe for this rich, sweet and sour curry in Summer and I kept it safe until the weather turned cooler.

But hubby was not quite ready to relinquish control of the kitchen, yet. He watched my every move, insisting the lamb wasn’t ready until it had dissolved into the curry, shaking the pressure cooker while its lid was on, throwing in extra apricots and whacking the flame up pointlessly when I wasn’t looking.

Did anyone say relapse?

Thankfully, the pressure cooker meant the lamb curry took 45 minutes to make. Hubby wolfed down his whole plate in seconds insisting it was “perfect for his palate” and “the lamb could have fallen off the bone more”.

I better recover soon. There ain’t no room for another cook in my kitchen…

This recipe feeds 3-4:

4 lamb shanks, 750 gm

2 medium tomatoes, chopped roughly

2 onions, chopped roughly

20 dried apricots

4 fat garlic cloves

1.5 inches ginger

8 whole black peppers

2 inches cinnamon

8 green cardamoms

Half tsp cumin powder

1 tsp coriander powder

1 tsp sugar

Half tsp chilli powder

3 drops of worcestershire sauce

1 large potato, peeled and cut into thin strips

4 tbsp sunflower oil

Salt to taste

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees celsius or gas mark 6. Place the three whole spices on a baking tray and dry roast untilt the green cardamoms turn pale brown.

In a small food processor or blender, grind the whole spices together with the ginger, garlic and a tablespoon of water.

Leave the oven on. Bring a large pan/pressure cooker (at least 5l) with three tablespoons of oil to heat over a high flame.

When the oil is hot, add the onions and fry for about five minutes until they turn pale caramel. Then add the spice paste and stir for another five minutes until the onions soften.

If the paste starts getting stuck to the bottom of the pan, add a little hot water and scrape it off.

Now add the spice powders, the lamb shanks and the tomatoes, and stir like mad for 10 minutes. Add salt according to taste, submerge in hot water and either leave to cook on a medium flame covered for an hour or pressure cooker for 25 minutes after the first whistle.

In the meantime, coat the sliced potatos with one tablespoon of oil, some salt and bake in the over for about 25 minutes, flipping over mid way. Remove from the oven as soon as they are done, to prevent them from going soggy. You could just use readymade oven chips, but this was so simple and satisfying.

When the lamb is cooked, sprinkle the sugar, the worcestershire sauce and the apricots into the curry. It should be rich and thick, so do add a bit of water if it is too dry.

To serve, spoon a lamb shank onto a plate. Serve some potato chips and brown basmati rice on the side. Then sit back and recover.

A grown man, bright red, sprawled across the sofa under an oversized blanket. With nothing but a roll of toilet tissue and cup of hot lemon and honey for comfort.

“I’m dying, ” he croaked.

Clearly a terrible attack of man flu. (Read: common cold, blown completely out of proportion)

Beats me every time. Give a man a deep wound. A dislocated body part. He will battle on courageously.

Give him a common cold. He surrenders defeat.

It was time for me to spring into loving, dutiful wife mode (it’s been a while…).

Never mind all that alternative medicine, paracetamol malarky. What a grown man needs to cure a sinus is hearty, spicy chicken curry, cooked by his loving wife.

It took half an hour to make and ten minutes to polish off our plates. And he’s back at work today. Now that’s my kind of speedy recovery.

This recipe serves 4:

750 gm boneless chicken thighs, cut into large chunks

1 medium tomato

5 tbsp low fat natural yogurt

2 medium onions

Half tsp turmeric powder

1 tsp chilli powder

2 tsp coriander powder

2 tsp cumin powder

Half tsp garam masala

3 fat cloves garlic and 1 inch ginger, pureed

1 tsp kasoori methi, soaked in 2 tsp hot water (optional)

Quarter tsp white sugar

2 tbsp sunflower oil

The trick with this recipe is to keep the flame high throughout and stir like your life depended on it.

In a medium pot, bring the oil to heat over a high flame. When it’s hot add the sugar and watch it caramelise. Then add the onion and stir for two minutes until they turn a warm brown.

Now add the pureed ginger and garlic and keep stirring, until the whole mixture turns a pale caramel brown.

Next add all the powders, bar the garam masala. Stir for two minutes, making sure they don’t stick to the bottom of the pan. If they do, add half a cup of hot water and scrape them off.

Chop finely and add the tomato and the diced chicken. Stir for five minutes until the chicken is well coated in the masala and the tomato pieces start disintegrating.

When they do, stir in the yogurt. Cook the chicken on a medium heat for another 10 minutes. There is no need to add water as the chances are the chicken has enough in it already.

Finally, stir in the garam masala powder and the soaking kasoori methi, along with its water. The kasoori methi or dried fenugreek is optional but it gives the curry a rich and bitter taste that balances the sour taste of the tomato and yogurt.

Serve with a hot green finger chilli poured over some super healthy brown basmati rice.